014 Charlotte The Harlot

 


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014 Charlotte The Harlot

(Sung to the tune of "Sweet Betsy From Pike")

 

CHORUS:She's filthy, she's nasty,

      She spits on the floor,

Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

 

Way out in the wild west where the bullshit lies thick,

Where the women are women and the cowboys come quick,

There lives a fair maiden of forty or more,

Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

 

She's handy, she's bandy, she screws in the street,

Whenever you meet her she's always in heat,

If you leave your fly open she's after your meat,

And the small of her c**t knocks you right off your feet.

 

She's easy, she's breezy, she's my hearts delight,

I'll f**k her by day and f**k her by night,

And each time I f**k her she shouts out, "Encore,"

I call that great f**king and I want some more.

 

One night on the prairie while riding along,

One hand on my pistol and one on my dong,

What should I spy but the maid I adore,

Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

 

One night I was riding way down by the falls,

One hand on my pistol, the other on my balls,

What should I see but Charlotte using a stick,

Instead of the end of a cowpuncher's prick.

 

One night on the desert her legs opened wide,

A rattlesnake saw it and climbed up inside,

Now all the cowboys on Saturday night,

Come see the vagina that rattles and bites.

 

I leapt from my saddle and reached for her crack,

But the damn thing was rattling and bit me back,

I pulled out my six gun and aimed for its head,

But the damn thing misfired and shot Charlotte instead.

 

I caressed her, undressed her, and laid her down there,

And parted the tresses of curly brown hair,

Inserted the penis of my sturdy horse,

And then there began a strange intercourse.

 

 

Faster and faster went my sturdy steed,

Until Charlotte rejoiced at the speed,

When all of a sudden my horse did backfire,

And shot Charlotte right into the mire.

 

He got Charlotte all covered in muck,

And said, "Oh dear, cowboy, what a glorious f**k,"

She stepped a pace forward and fell flat on the floor,

And that was the end of the cowpuncher's whore.

 

The funeral procession was forty miles long,

And all of the cowboys were singing the song,

"Here lies a maiden who never kept score,

Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore."

 


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Last updated: February 25, 2007.